Over 60

Started by horrido, 07/29/2015 02:33 PM

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horrido

Since this is only 9 years away I thought about this joke a friend sent enjoy maybe it rings a few truths.....



Over 60, who gives a s**t.


I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own
business.


This fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my ass
and said,


"You're kind of cute, you gotta a phone
number?"


I said, "Yea, you gotta pen?"


She said "Yea, I got a pen."


I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer
misses you."


Cost me 6 stitches.


When you are over sixty . . . who
gives a ****

***********

Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms,
please."

Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag
with that, sir?"

Cowboy: "Nah.. She's purty good
lookin'....."

When you are over sixty, who gives a
****

***********

I was talking to a girl in the bar
last night. She said,

"If you lost a few pounds, had a
shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."

I said, "If I did that, I'd be
talking to your friends over there instead of you."

When you are over sixty, who gives a
****

***********

I was telling a girl in the pub about
my ability to guess

what day a woman was born just by
feeling her boobs.

"Really" she said, "Go on
then...try."

After about thirty seconds of
fondling she began to lose

patience and said, "Come
on, what day was I born?"

I said, "Yesterday."

When you are over sixty, who gives a
****

***********

I got caught taking a pee in the
swimming pool today.

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud,
I nearly fell in.

When you are over sixty, who gives a
****

***********

I went to the pub last night and saw
a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs."

The girl giggled and said, "Do you
really think so."

I said, "Definitely! Most tables
would have collapsed by now."

When you are over sixty, who gives a
****
"As you approach thirty, you have a thirty ring gauge; as you approach fifty, you have a fifty ring gauge."
-- Cuban saying

Longhorn

You're on a roll tonight... :lmao:

Cigary

Im 61....love this post!!!!!

Mojo66

Thanks Mark, had a good laugh at these.

11 years for me, then I get rebates all over  :dancing:
"Life's too short to smoke bad cigars."


appollo

Three years away great jokes  :lmao:

toby2


bigjohn20081983

I still have about 28 years to go but this was funny.
You should hurry up and acquire the cigar habit. It's one of the major happiness's. And so much more lasting than love, so much less costly in emotional wear and tear.
Aldous Huxley

Maybe it's like becoming one with the cigar. You lose yourself in it; everything fades away: your worries, your problems, your thoughts. They fade into the smoke, and the cigar and you are at peace.

Raul Julia

I'D rather be tried by 12 than carried by 6
http://www.cigargeeks.com/index.php?action=humidors;area=public;member=bigjohn20081983


lubrix

----
Guru of ruining the moment.

sevencardstud

LOL those were all great!
"Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar." -Mark Twain


benchjockey

Your act may have killed vaudeville, but I'm loving it!
You learn more by listening then you do from talking.

ntanner

I am not concerned about what you think as I can tell you don't do it often.

I used to be a people person, but then people ruined that for me.

Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of a group of grains that could have become beer but didn't.

danb6177

I used to sit outside all night and drink bud lite and smoke Marlboros and everyone thought I was a bum. Now I sit outside all night and drink craft beers and smoke cigars and everyone thinks I have class.
-----
Money cant buy happiness but it CAN buy cigars

pferg

:lmao: There must be some corilation to over 60 but 25 and under


   
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