"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"

"What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife"

"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them"

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met"
-Rodney Dangerfield

Bruce
Chief Enabler 
Guru of Decorum & Sarcasm

Hey! How come Habana is written on here with a Sharpie ?!?

A day without whiskey is like . . . just kidding, I have no idea!

Kent
 Guru of Cynicism & Cigars

"Pump the brakes; you take your shirt off but leave your sunglasses on?" "What sort of backwards !@#$ing pageantry is that?" "You going to fight with those shades or play pokerstars.com?"

Byron

Guru of small balls and big sticks
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"If there are no cigars in heaven I shall not go" Mark Twain