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Random quote: "Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke." -Lynda Barry
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Dad Jokes
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toby3
Posted 11/22/2017 7:21 AM (#729044)
Subject: Dad Jokes



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I saw one of these on a firearms forum I was on a while back and got some good ones so I figured why not here. Everyone posted their best "dad" joke. I'll start with two.

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "You knpw we have a drink named after you?" The grasshoper says, "You have a drink named Irving?"

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When he goes to pay the bartender says, "For you, no charge."
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biggsy16
Posted 11/22/2017 7:54 AM (#729045 - in reply to #729044)
Subject: Re: Dad Jokes



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Everyday I look in the mirror,i look more like my old dad,i know he's up there laughing his ass off.
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PETE314
Posted 11/22/2017 11:57 AM (#729062 - in reply to #729044)
Subject: Re: Dad Jokes



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Three guys walk into a bar...



You'd have thought one of them would have ducked....
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gitfiddl
Posted 11/22/2017 12:03 PM (#729064 - in reply to #729044)
Subject: RE: Dad Jokes



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Every time we would leave on a family trip, Dad would holler like a train conductor "All aboard that's going aboard! All those that can't get aboard get a plank!"



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Otter
Posted 11/22/2017 4:47 PM (#729090 - in reply to #729044)
Subject: RE: Dad Jokes



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Mautrak
Posted 11/22/2017 8:35 PM (#729122 - in reply to #729044)
Subject: Re: Dad Jokes



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Those were horrible. And I read all of them to my wife, while laughing. If I could find my kids, I'd read them to the kids too!
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toby3
Posted 11/24/2017 5:53 PM (#729279 - in reply to #729122)
Subject: Re: Dad Jokes



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A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says sorry, we don't serve food here.
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toby3
Posted 11/24/2017 5:53 PM (#729280 - in reply to #729044)
Subject: Re: Dad Jokes



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Why do chicken coupes only have 2 doors? Because if they had 4 doors they would be chicken sedans.
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toby3
Posted 11/24/2017 5:54 PM (#729281 - in reply to #729044)
Subject: Re: Dad Jokes



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I went to the grocery store and bought a gallon of milk. The cashier asked if I would like a bag for my milk. I said no, just leave it in the carton.
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danb6177
Posted 11/24/2017 6:19 PM (#729283 - in reply to #729281)
Subject: Re: Dad Jokes



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toby3 - 11/24/2017 6:54 PM

I went to the grocery store and bought a gallon of milk. The cashier asked if I would like a bag for my milk. I said no, just leave it in the carton.


Funny. I do similar when they ask if I want a bag for my beer. I tell em no im gonna drink it in the car and they all give me the same look lol
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danb6177
Posted 11/24/2017 6:20 PM (#729284 - in reply to #729044)
Subject: Re: Dad Jokes



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Bad dad joke but I can’t help myself when I pass a cemetery.

Me- you guys know how many people are dead in there?

Kids- no maybe 500?

Me- all of them : )

Edited by danb6177 11/24/2017 6:21 PM
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toby3
Posted 11/25/2017 8:44 AM (#729315 - in reply to #729284)
Subject: Re: Dad Jokes



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danb6177 - 11/24/2017 6:20 PM

Bad dad joke but I can’t help myself when I pass a cemetery.

Me- you guys know how many people are dead in there?

Kids- no maybe 500?

Me- all of them : )


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05Venturer
Posted 11/25/2017 11:39 AM (#729322 - in reply to #729044)
Subject: Re: Dad Jokes



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Son; Dad why is my sister named Rose?
Dad; Because Roses are your mothers favorite.
Son; Oh, Ok thanks Dad
Dad; No problem B.J.
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