So I've been heavily recruited by a competing company in my industry, and they are offering me a 50% raise over what I'm being paid now. Clearly a life changing offer and I don't know how I can pass it up. But man, it is REALLY nerve racking thinking about making this big of a move, I've been with my current employer for 13 years and it's the only job I've ever had since I started here as a 20 year old. I think I have to take the offer, but these are the things I'm thinking about:

PROS

1) my wife, who works 4 nights a week as a nurse assistant from 11pm-7am, would be able to stop working. We have a 10 year old and a 2 year old, so I really feel bad for her working all overnight, no sleep, and coming home to a 2 year old and not getting any sleep there either.  She has been a champ about it for almost 2 years, but it wears on her a lot. It was something that she had to do, switching to nights, because working days would put us into the full time daycare category, and that costs more than she would make. 

2) we would be able to save a ton of money over the next 2 years, allowing us to (hopefully) move out of our apartment and into a house sooner than we had planned. It would be great to do this before my little one starts kindergarten.

3) with my wife being home and us being in a house, the idea of having another baby and being able to actually afford to do it is a very realistic possibility

4) when I started working here 13 years ago, my dad had already been here for about 10 years.  He left a few months ago to go work for this company that is now recruiting me. So I would be reunited with my dad, which would be great, and getting to finish out his career with me would be really special. I also know that he wouldn't suggest I talk with this guy if he didn't think it was a good environment. To me this is a huge advantage, to have someone on the inside that I can trust, rather than going into this decision blindly. 

 

CONS

1) The thing that has me the most scared is the fact that this would be a 2 hour commute home each day. My current job is 30 minutes from home.  So adjusting to driving in that traffic is a real concern.  I am sure I would get used to it, but it's still gonna suck. This new employer is open to me working a 7am-4pm day so that I can hopefully be home by 6-6:30pm and not miss out on the normalcy of family life at home. That is important to me.  Money is great but I do not want to be the guy who gets home at 8pm and misses out on dinner and playing with my kids.

2) it's a huge change uprooting my job and leaving a place I've been for 13 years, where I'm treated well, to go and start over someplace new. I am fully confident in my abilities to succeed in this new place, but deciding to rip that bandage off and go for it is a big deal.

 

Just looking to chat a bit with you guys, hear what you think. I think my mind is almost made up on what I'm gonna do, but it' still nice to talk about it with others.  Thanks for listening!! 

 

Family is always first IMO so that part would be a plus so that your wife would not have to work. Commuting always sucks to no matter haw far, but if you get to smoke in your car what a great way to start the day coffee and a smoke, and the ride home.  

QuoteBeegerply - 6/26/2018  11:46 AM  Family is always first IMO so that part would be a plus so that your wife would not have to work. Commuting always sucks to no matter haw far, but if you get to smoke in your car what a great way to start the day coffee and a smoke, and the ride home.  

oh without question, that cigar on the ride home is a GIVEN and the ONLY thing that would make it tolerable hahaha

Part of me is of the mindset that you have to go where the money is, and if I limit myself to only working within 30 minutes from home then I am eliminating some great opportunities. If I could get this kind of money working at the local food store that would great, but that's not happening lol 

Feel like I'm standing on the highest diving board at the pool looking over the edge    

Perhaps with the new opportunity you could move a bit closer to drop the commute time.
I say go for it, you will regret any chance you don't take advantage of in my opinion. Change is tough but usually well worth it.

Seeing that your father made the move and enjoys it enough to think it would be a good move for you, I would jump at that opportunity. You "know" someone in the company at that point and will make the transition easier.

I took a leap of faith 5 years ago - adding a 1.5 hour commute each way, but making 60% more than I was previously. My wife quit her job to stay with our daughter (now 3) and after a year or so of commuting, sold our house and purchased a larger one closer to my work (15 minutes) for almost the same money.

The grass isn't always greener - but this sounds like a great opportunity.

Quote05Venturer - 6/26/2018  11:01 AM

Perhaps with the new opportunity you could move a bit closer to drop the commute time.

As I stated previously, this is what I did and it has worked out very well.

Wow Colin, so a very similar situation to the one I'm facing. At the end of the day it's almost like how can you say no? Moving closer would make this a muuuch easier thing for sure.  Unfortunately I don't think that's in the cards because my 10 year old is already in school out here, my wife likes the area, and we are kind of halfway between our parents.....if we moved closer to this job, we'd be further away from her parents and that would be a tough one to sell

Kent - you are right, I think I would regret it big time if I turned this down and I don't want to have any regrets. I'm only 33, so my future is what I'm thinking about, and this could be a big step towards some great opportunities.

Sounds like a great opportunity .This could lead to a greater position.Just a stepping stone.

I would have to agree with Kent and Colin. It does present you with a great economic opportunity as well as an overall improved quality of life both due to the salary increase and your wife being able to be home full time. Add to that the fact your dad is there I think just adds up to an opportunity you can't say no to.

I would be looking for a way around that 2 hour commute but the opportunity sounds good!


 

Personally, I couldn't deal with a 2 hour commute (i'm assuming to and from) unless it was on an interstate or other highway with no real stop and go traffic, but YMMV as the saying goes.    That's 4 hours out of my life per day dealing with idiots.  I understand the substantial pay increase, but if you're driving, that's additional mileage and wear and tear on your vehicle.  I don't mean to be a downer, but the extra cash probably wouldn't do it for me unless I sold our house and moved closer, at least at this stage of my life.

Not being a downer at all man, it’s a real concern. I should also mention that part of this deal, on top of salary, is a sizeable monthly car allowance which is tax free and would be enough to buy a new car and pay the insurance. That doesn’t make it a shorter trip but it does help a little  

The thing I’m wrestling with is that I’d be passing up a great opportunity to make life changing money by limiting myself to staying close to home. Where I live, 90% of people that make this kind of money have to commute into NYC, which is a 90 minute train ride each way. You are a slave to public transportation and at its mercy, potentially getting stuck sitting next to the worst type of people. At least being in my car I have some protection LOL. The morning would be a little over an hour drive, coming home looks like a pretty consistent 2-2:15 minutes. If it was closer it would be a slam dunk!! But like my dad always says there’s no free lunch and it would be an investment on my part to get this kind of money. 

I just changed positions at work after 29 years in the same place. I know it's not the same as changing employers, but it was odd after all those years in the same job. After a month of the new job, I wish I had done it sooner. Best of luck either way!

I would definitely ask present employer to match offer before anything else. If they cant, I would leave and put a one year limit on the commute and start looking to buy a house near work asap. I could not do the commute for more than a year, if that, but that's just me. Goodl luck with everything!

I think you should flip a coin.....and make the move - regardless of heads or tails. (at least that way - anyone ask you how you made the decision - good or bad - you could always say you just flipped a coin).  

Good luck - no matter what you decide.

Thanks guys, nice to hear from you all. I'm not the type to bounce around, and I am a loyal person, which is another part of what makes this difficult. It's a big change. But I learned long ago that especially in the business world, loyalty is a one way street and you have to look out for yourself and your family because nobody else will. I'm sure if my current employer got an offer to sell the company for 50% more than it was worth, they would probably take it without thinking of little old me

Quotejunglepete - 6/26/2018  10:59 PM  I would definitely ask present employer to match offer before anything else. If they cant, I would leave and put a one year limit on the commute and start looking to buy a house near work asap. I could not do the commute for more than a year, if that, but that's just me. Goodl luck with everything!

Yeah, we will see.  I am in a 2 year lease in my current place, so August 2020. That will be more than enough time to either get used to the drive or come to the conclusion that its too much 

You can't put a price tag on happiness.  With that being said, you can put a price tag on security and sanity.  This is a huge financial windfall that will pay dividends for the next 30 years of your career and your life.

Take the new position and here are my reasons why:

1) Your wonderful wife needs a break.  It is a proven fact that folks who work overnights consistently, age faster and develop more health problems.  Couple that with the fact that she has to be caregiver during the day too lends no time for restorative rest.  Right now, I am a stay at home dad (by the grace of god and having had a lucrative career to this point to which I am eternally thankful for everyday) and I can tell you that if I am up during the night and try to function the next day, my son (and his development) and I suffer the next day.  Once all of the kids go to school, your wife can always pick up a job during the day doing something that offers flexibility and interest for her (along with adding to the family bottom line).

2) You need to build a stable roof over your family's head.  Even if it is a starter home (one which you dump in 3-5 years time) you can always upgrade, but you need some stability.  Kids do well with a good routine and a stable home-life.  It is also your place.  Homes are a good wealth-building technique esp right now with interest rates being fairly low.  But I would get on that train sooner rather than later.

3) Commute will be everything but it is not paramount.  You have a good handle on the fact that you want to spend time with your kids.  The flexible hours are great but you are going to figure out a better commute plan.  That may lead to moving much closer to the job or at least within 45 minutes for sure.  I can tell you that the 10 year old is going to figure it out.  I can also tell you that the in-laws will also get over it.  See also #2.  You need to be worried about making sure that you are somewhat fresh when you get home.  I know this from experience and a grind of a commute.  We moved to an area where we didn't know anyone and it didn't take long to make some good friends.  Regardless of the flexible scheduling, 4 hours is still 4 hours and you aren't going to lose much commuting on fringe times, I tried this.  It only made me go to bed earlier thus causing me to be work ONLY M-F, which wore me down after a few months.  

4) No Regrets.  You don't want to look back and have a view of "if I only".  You are still a young guy, like myself, and you have to take advantage now of growing your career, being with your family, paying for collage and building a nice retirement nest egg.  This new gig seems like a huge step forward toward all of that.  Make these moves, take these risks.  The "what if I lose my job" or other questions you come up with are just that....only questions you come up with in your head.  There are always new gigs, new opportunities and there will always be challenges.  But honestly answer the question of "what is the worst that can honestly happen?".  You be surprised at how much the human brain over-inflates problems into OH MY GOD experiences.

5) Building your career.  This gig sounds like a giant step forward.  By my simple (and I mean simple) math, you are in you early to mid 30's.  The fact that you have held on with these guys for as long as you have is a miracle in itself.  That can be a bad thing on a resume after a while.  There are not many jobs or careers these days (let alone companies) where people hang around that long.  Just remember, they have 0 loyalty to you.  Build more skills, make more contacts and take advantage of all the benefits.  If they offer training or college tuition reimbursement, take advantage of it.  Do they offer better insurance and PTO or vacation than the current place?  Do they offer the opportunity to move up?  Will it help you get another offer like this from another company in 3-5 years?

6) You deserve it.  

I hope that this helps you think a bit more critically about the new position and about your career in general.  It is scary as all hell but anticipation is worse than the act of doing it.  As Hank said, he made a move and wishes that he didn't wait so long to.  You can totally do this.

Everyone else has already weighed in with good info, so I'll just say good luck either way!

congrats. whether you take it or not at least you now know you're being paid under market. must be a good feeling to know your worth to the market jumped that high. congrats again on your move upward!

I did a 85 mile commute each way for a year, back in 2009. 5 months in, I had paper on the street, looking for a better job. 3 hours of driving everyday was a deal breaker for me.

Could you negotiate a relocation package as part of the deal?

Part of your commute will be during severe winter weather. Leaving the house at about 4:30 am, you will be facing some dangerous driving conditions.

So I had my formal offer sheet, all ready to sign. I had transferred all of my contacts over to my cloud account. Ready to make the move. I went in to my boss yesterday to tell him, explaining that I wasn't leaving because I was unhappy but I was leaving because I was getting life changing money and it was the best thing for my family. He asked what kind of life changing money, I told him, and he said "wow".

Today he calls me in to his office, tells me he doesn't want me to leave, and he matches the offer!! Never in a million years did I expect them to match it or even come close, but they did. He told me that I am one of the people that they have pegged to be a successor to take over in the next 5-7 years when he and his 2 partners retire.

At first I was conflicted but it's obvious that I have to stay and honestly I am thrilled. I get to stay 30 minutes from home and still get the same great money. So I celebrated tonight by smoking a Padron Family Reserve 45 Maduro!!

Thanks to all of you guys for hearing me out and giving me your input, I truly appreciate it and all of you. I am one happy man tonight, and my wife of course thinks I am hot sh*t haha

That's awesome Tom! Nothing better than enjoying your job and being appreciated on top of it.

Dam fine choice for a cigar too.

Congrats......glad it all worked out for you.

Congrats Tom. That's awesome.